The how to pages

How to protect your computer

2006-01-14T04:49:00.000-08:00

What you need

Anti-virus
You need two different anti-viruses. An anti virus is
a program that scans your harddrive to check for errors.
It also monitors programs that your computer comes into
contact with. Think of it like a china, a connection,
that is always looking our for you.

The reason you need to use two different programs is
because most of these programs on their own are not
good enough. Remember as you are installing your
software some kid is probally writing a virus your
version wont detect.

A firewall
This program is kinda like a dura-wall it protects
you from outside intruders. Not only that it also
acts as a dog, when the intruders arrive. Make sure
you keep a log file that way you can keep track of
who is accessing your computer.

Understanding the web
Think of all the people of the internet when you
are plugged in, well its kinda like you are all
in this circle and in the center of the circle
is someone who acts as messenger. The circle is to
big to shout a message across so you use a go
between. This is what is know as a (router).

Contamination
The internet is very much like our world in
that there are viruses, trojans, these are
programs that are written by mainly adolescent
kids that are known in the computing world
as crackers. The hackers... they are the good
guys, and as proof of that they are giving
away a free Operational system called Linux.

As you surf the net looking for something
good there is someone running a scanner
looking for computers that are open. For
every bag of garbage in our world
there is one cracker.

Two anti virus and a good firewall will
help you avoid the unwanted.

Its a danger
A trojan is a program that will send
its owner details of your computer.
Vener open emails you recieve from
unknown sources. The trojan will alert
its owner when ever you log on. From
his desktop he can watch your every move.
Just as if your computer was in front of
him.

Just like in the real world where
you cant hit a chick metal to metal, on
the internet make sure you proctected.

How to become a millionaire

2005-12-30T01:48:00.000-08:00

If you are one of those people who love money
and want to make your first million then
this document is for you.

I am sure you have read articles before
that go something like this...

I was once embarassingly poor,
but I rose from the slump and
now I have a million and change.
I want to share my secret with
you.

The articles usually end where
this so called millionaire ask
you to buy his book which holds
the secret. In this article I
am going to give you the secret
for free.

A rich man once told me that
making money is the easy part
keeping it was the hard part.

So let me give you the easy
part in how to make your first
million. Money is a funny thing
it evolved out of the barter
system. It is a piece of paper
that represent some value.

Economics circles around money,
the paper that men die for.
Some say money is the root of
all evil. Okay never mind, lets
get you your first (meter).

You will need a working capital
of 10 greenbacks. Now this is not
magic. I am going to show you how
to make a million out of your
working capital.

Now all you have to do is convert
the capital to Zim dollars and
there you have it, your first
Mil.

What is a million worth. Well
millions of dollars can afford
you interesting opportunities.
Like once me and my babe were
sitting in this little pub
on the outskirts of windsor.

It was our aniversary and This
pub with a huge fire and friendly
landlord was the place we always
took lunch on special occasions.

We were on first name basis with
the landlord although he always
reffered to us as the love birds.
"What can I get you two love birds"
He would say in his Hugh Grant like
English.

We sat in the corner near the fire.
I took charge and added a few logs
to the fire. The babe took off her
coat, she was wearing the black top
I liked. A perfect cut of cloth
that gaurded her assets like a
glove gaurds a hand.

I pulled a present from my pocket,
before I gave it to her I told
this little story.
" I am sorry babe but I have
something to tell you. I have been
keeping this secret for a while,
I am a millionaire."

You can imagine her face. I continued
with the story. " Already I can see you
are looking at me in a different light.
and seeing that I love you so much, and
dont want the money to come between us.
I gave half to charity and the other half
I got you this gift to celebrate our
anniversary. "

She put on the zimbabwean necklace
and said " This is now a symbol of
our love, because today you told
me something I needed to hear.
That you put me above the one
thing that everyone wants."

How to find an egg

2005-12-21T03:08:00.000-08:00

Eggs are hidden programs or files that are stored on your computer by
the program developers. Okay you must do everything I say exactly
as I say

Egg One
This Egg works only with Windows 2000/ME/XP/2003.
Go to Find Files or Folders and search for this string (no quotes):
"catch me if you can"

voila all the files on your PC.

Egg Two
This Egg works only with Windows 98.

1. Right-click on an empty spot on your Desktop.
2. Select New -> Shortcut.
3. Browse to the folder C:\Windows\Application Data\Microsoft\Welcome.
4. Double-click on Weldata.exe to select it as your shortcut's command line.
5. Click Finish to save your shortcut.
6. Right-click on your newly created shortcut and select Properties.
7. Click the Shortcut tab, and add this string (EXACTLY as shown here):
You_are_a_real_rascal
after typing a space at the end of Weldata.exe, in the Target area.
8. In the Run area, select Minimized.
9. Click OK/Apply to save your changes.
10. (Double)-click your new shortcut to enjoy the show!

Egg Three
3D TEXT EASTER EGGS

These Windows 95B/95C OSR2.x, NT 3.5x/4.0, 98/98 SE + ME Easter Eggs are hidden into the 3D Text (OpenGL) Screen Saver, bundled with all these Operating Systems. The file SSTEXT3D.SCR is located in %windir%\System (usually C:\Windows\System) on Win9x/ME systems and in %windir%\System32 (usually C:\Winnt\System32) on WinNT systems.
To activate them, follow these steps EXACTLY:

1. Right-click on an empty spot on your Desktop.
2. Select Properties.
3. Select the Screen Saver tab.
4. Select "3D Text (OpenGL)" from the Screen Saver list.
5. Click the Settings button.
6. In the Display area check the Text box.
7. In the Text box type the following words (case insensitive), depending on the MS OS you are using:

1. Windows 95B/95C OSR 2.0 - 2.5, 98/98 SE + ME: Type "volcano" (no quotes) and select OK. Click the Preview button. The screen saver text will cycle through a list of famous United States volcanoes.

2. Windows NT 4.0: Type "not evil" (no quotes) and click OK. Select the Preview button. The screen saver text will cycle through a list of WinNT 4.0 programmers.

3. Windows NT 3.5x:
1. Type "I love NT" (no quotes) and click OK. Select the Preview button. The screen saver text will say "good?" and cycle through a list of WinNT 3.5x programmers.
2. Type "beer" (no quotes) and click OK. Select the Preview button. The screen saver text will cycle through a list of famous beer brands.
3. Type "rock" (no quotes) and click OK. Select the Preview button. The screen saver text will cycle through a list of famous rock bands.

Hope you enjoy your eggs and remember dont count your eggs until they are scarmped.

Vieome...

how to jam the human brain

2005-12-17T06:10:00.000-08:00

This is not so much a tutorial, but more away
of getting you to think outside the box.

How to program

2005-12-12T23:52:00.000-08:00

How to write a computer program

Firstly I am going to let you in on a little secret.
Programing is easy.

What is a program
It is a ka instruction to the computer to do something.
It is also something that you use to perform a task.
Like now you are using internet explorer(program), to
browse this page. So when one uses the word program they
mean one of the above.

Now lets move on, to the part where I tune you how
to write a program

My first program
Programs are written in computer lingos. In this tutorial
I will be teaching you Qbasic a very easy lingo to learn
kinda like the (B) language.

Your computer raps a lingo called machine code so to talk
to it you either have to learn machine code or you
can find a translator. Qbasic.exe will be our translator
for this tutorial. This translator will change the lingo
you are learning into machine code.

Lets begin
First you have to get the translator, you will find
him on the any windows cdrom just look for Qbasic.
If you cant find him search for him on your harddrive.

Now you have the translator open it up. It should look like
this...

Okay the first program write this in the translator.

PRINT "Hello Foggal"

Then press F5 on your keyboard and your first program
will run. Well done, I told you it was easy. Okay I
know you might think programming should be hard, but
it really is that simple.

My second program
Okay lets do something a bit more fun now.
Lets write a program that you can show your
chinas and friends or mates.

How about a nice Artificial inteligent program?
Before we write this program, let me tell you
another secret, your hardrive is kinda like
a suburb. There are avenues, in those avenues
there are house. Each house has an address.
People live in those houses.

So what we are going to tell the computer
to do now with this program is to ask
your friends a question then save their
answer in an address. So later we can
use that address to get the information.

Our translator forgive him, but he can only
translate the program one line at a time.

Lets write the second program.

INPUT "What is your name "; name$
PRINT "Hello "; name$
INPUT "Howzit "; How$
INPUT "Where are you from"; place$
PRINT "Listen "; name$; " quick say the name of any vegatable"
PRINT "Now say any one of these numbers 1 2 3 4"
INPUT "So are you a foggal "; status$
PRINT ; How$; " really"
INPUT "Do you think I am clever "; mind$
PRINT "Your vegtable was carrot your number was 3"
INPUT "Whats your thoughts "; thoughts$
PRINT
PRINT " WARNING! VIRUS DETECTED "

END

Well thats the end of the tutorial...
remember press F5 to run.

CLS
COLOR 5
PRINT " L a t e r s "

Design your own web page

2005-12-03T05:19:00.000-08:00

Data by Vieome

This is a tutorial on how to design your own web page.It is really quite simply. You can do this in many different ways. Fistly you could, use your word program, and then save the document as a web page. In this tutorialI am going to show you the easy way to do it.
What you are looking at is called a web page, these pagesare written in lingo called Hyper Text (mark up) language.

First Excercise
Right click on your mouse, a menu appears. Now go to (the one)that tunes source. Press the button. A note pad document opens. What you see in the document, is the hypertext language.There are many different lingos for writing web pages, butI am going to show you hyper text, Easy peezee Jap(ouen)eezee.
Okay now close the note pad.

Excercise owt
Please understand that depending on the (o)perational (s)ystemyou are useing, you can use your computer in different ways.If for example like me you are using windows 3.1 then you haveto do it the hard way. If you are on windows 95, this is the placewhere things get easy. This tutorial should work on all systems. Butyou may have to do things slightly different to suit your (OS).

Okay lets start the second excercise. Open the source page again, if you have forgotten already, right click to find it. Good. Nowmiminmise it. Press the lika minus item or maybe the arrow in the top right hand corner.

Excercise three
How easy is that. Well okay you have not done much yet. I was savingthe best for last. Kinda like grazing and leaving the meat for last.
So here is the meatNow all you have to do is highlight all the words in this tutorial.Use your (mouse) or what ever (pointing device) you have to do this.When you have done that press (Ctrl C). Now bring up the note padyou had minimised. Click in the notepad then press (Ctrl A) then delete.

Dont be bung, I am not going to break your computer(brain). Now press Ctrl V. Okay now you see the turorial. Cool yah. Now press on file in theleft hand top corner. Then go to (save page as). When the box comes up ask how to save the page. It looks like this.

Name it like this. (Webpage.html and) save it in your documents. Now open your documents then open the webpage fili(magee). If it opensas a web page then you are in busy if not, read the tutorial again, oh I forgot to mention this tutorial works best using (internet explorer),if your (brower) is security conscious like firefox then you wont be able to use this tutorial.

The last bit of (team) Now all you do is mark the document, like how you want it to look andalso to let the browser know what to do with it. Now go to the source againIn the note pad on the top of the page we will start putting our (tags) toto mark the page.

The first tag

<http>
I told you it was easy. That mark there tells your browser the lingo yourweb page is to be sent in around the internet. Now for a title of the document, another tag

<Title>webpage</Title>

Why the two titles well the first one opens the titlesection the second one closes it. Now lets give this page,this might sound strange, lets give it a nut(head).

<head></head>
Notice I left the head empty cause empty vessels make the most noise.Moving slowly on, lets give the item(killer, babe) a body now.This is where the fun part starts. Now I will tag a good lookingbody. I will explaim what the marks mean a bit laters.

<body>

<h1>A web page</h1>

<p>This is a tutorial on how to design your own web page.It is really quite simply. You can do this in many different ways. Fistly you could, use your word program, and then save the document as a web page. In this tutorialI am going to show you the easy way to do it.</p>

<p>This tag here is a <A href=" web address here"> link</A>o another web page.</p>

<P> Now lets add a picture<IMG SRC="image address" WIDTH=200 HEIGHT=200>. The location of the picture is in inverted commas.

<p>This is the last paragraph, rememeber look for the source to findmore tags, play with them see what they do and in no time I am sureyou will be better then me. I can hope. Now close the text document and savethe changes. Then press F5 and see what you have done. Gold star if you seethe new web page. If you are on line press the link. Well that is it for this tutorial they will be others. I am going to close the body now.

</body>
</http>